45 - Positive Discipline Ch. 7 - 9
Post date: May 26, 2016 2:35:58 PM
Counselor Notes 45
March 10, 2016
Positive Discipline Chapters 7 - 9
Moving along through Positive Discipline, we are now at the highlights of chapters 7 through 9.
Chapter 7: Using Encouragement Effectively
In the book Dr. Nelson emphasizes the point that “adults don’t realize … that any child which is misbehaving is subconsciously saying ‘I just want to belong, and I have some mistaken ideas about how to accomplish belonging.’” (p. 141)
In helping children learn better ways to belong, Dr. Nelson notes the importance of:
· Timing – parents may need to time the encouragement they give their child to a time when the child can hear it. (i.e. there may need to be a cooling off period.)
· Mutual Respect – this “incorporates attitudes of (a) faith in the abilities of yourself and others (b) interest in the point of view of others as well as your own; and (c) willingness to take responsibility and ownership of your own contribution to the problem.” (p. 143)
· Noticing improvement instead of expecting perfection.
· Redirecting Misbehavior – Find the positive attributes in misbehavior and put that to constructive use.
· Making Amends – give the child ways to make up for the issues their misbehavior created.
· Schedule “Special Time” with children.
· Encouragement Vs. Praise – Parents often have the mistaken idea that they can build their child’s self-esteem through praising them. Dr. Nelson makes the important point that “self-esteem can’t be given or received, it is developed through a sense of capability and the self-confidence gained from dealing with disappointments, solving problems, and having lots of opportunities to learn from mistakes.” (p. 157)
Chapter 8: Class Meetings
This is a chapter for classroom teachers so I will pass over it here.
Chapter 9: Family Meetings
Dr. Nelsen uses family meetings as a cornerstone of resolving conflicts in a productive manner. There are a number of nuances to running family meetings though. The best information I can give you here is to see Dr. Nelson’s web page on family meetings:https://www.positivediscipline.com/articles/family-meetings
Psychology Today has a good web site with 10 tips on family meetings: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201209/10-tips-holding-family-meeting
Other good sites on the topic include:
Dr. Nelsen’s Positive Discipline web page is at: http://www.positivediscipline.com/
Doug Muha Ed.S.
Waverly Elementary School
P.S. Visitation with Ms. James' family is Saturday 3/12 (tomorrow) from 5 to 8 p.m. at the McEwen Baptist Church's Fellowship Hall. At approximately 7 p.m. there will be a time for a sharing aloud of memories of Ms. James.
P.P.S. Psychology Today had another interesting article on probiotics. Individuals who have children with anxiety &/or depression issues (or have those issues themselves) are encouraged to read it. It can be found at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201507/the-reach-probiotics?collection=1075813